The Dark Side
by bridgestocross
Summary: Takes place directly after the end of Season 4. The mission was a success and Annie is home, but maybe the pieces don't fit together the way they once did. A little one-shot.


_**A/N: A little one-shot as we wait for Season 5. Thank you all for reading! -annielovesauggie**_

xXx

It was like a switch had flipped. She got out of the car and right then and there, on the streets on Hong Kong while they were running for their lives, he fell out of love with her.

He knew he'd always love Annie Walker, but whatever they'd had—whatever toxic, twisted thing that had existed between them—ended.

Now, she was back and walking through the halls at Langley. Everything was supposed to magically be back to the way it had been eight months ago. He walked through the halls and called a friendly hello to his co-workers and worked in his glass box of an office, but something dark burned inside his chest and every breath he took reminded him that he'd failed.

She waited for him by the elevator. He knew she stood there. He'd know those footsteps and that scent anywhere. Even despite the fact she'd long ago abandoned the Jo Malone, she had a distinctive scent that he could pick out even in a crowd of a thousand. He wished he could turn around and avoid her, but he had no choice.

"Auggie?" She called from somewhere near the elevator door.

"You're back." He tried to smile.

"Looks that way. Back from the dead."

She'd meant it as a joke, but it turned his stomach. He'd had his fill of women he loved returning from the dead. In fact, he'd had his fill of all of it. It was only now that everyone was safe and sound that something sinister was unleashing itself inside him. He wanted to hurt her. Instead of firing back some scathing retort, he swallowed down the impulse and plastered on a smile.

"I'm glad."

"I have about six months of paperwork to get through, but after….do you want to meet up?"

The coyness in her voice was almost his undoing. She was Annie. She'd always be Annie. Despite the fact that he'd listened to her put a bullet into Henry's chest, she could pull off coy.

"Sure." He again smiled and hoped it reached his eyes. He didn't feel like being dissected in the hallways of the DPD.

xXx

Later that night, after he and Annie had sex, he was unable to sleep. He got up and carefully made his way to the kitchen, trying not to disturb her. She'd come to him and the need in her had been overwhelming. Despite what had happened with Helen, or maybe because of it, she'd been aggressive and forceful. He couldn't help himself from remembering what it'd been like with Helen. His wife. He remembered the silky feeling of her hair and the huskiness of her voice as they'd made love. Then, he'd been the insatiable one. He'd wanted her—wanted to possess her in every way. Afterwards, he'd assumed it was a reaction to being so lonely and so lost, but maybe that wasn't true at all.

"What are you doing?" Her sleepy voice called from the landing.

Auggie tried to school his features into his usual unreadable mask. "Nothing."

"Can't sleep?" She said as she moved toward him.

"I guess not." He shrugged.

"Maybe I can help with that." She said seductively as she caressed his bare shoulder. He tried not to visibly recoil as he stepped away from her contact.

"I think maybe we should go to bed." He tried to inject his voice with lightness but the silence that followed told him that he hadn't succeeded.

"What's the matter, Auggie?"

Well, she cut right to the heart of the matter. He had to give her credit. Annie wasn't big on bullshit and for that he was usually grateful.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully.

"You've been acting weird since I came back."

He could hear her sit heavily on the stool at the island.

"You mean since the mission in Hong Kong? Or that I finally got to be with you again after six months with no contact? Or maybe since I had to bury my dead wife—again." He answered without emotion.

Annie simply stared at him.

"I'm sorry." He rubbed his face tiredly. "Let's just go to bed." He didn't wait for her response as he ascended the steps and slid back into bed.

Annie woke in the morning to find Auggie gone. It didn't surprise her. She was a runner herself and she recognized the signs. He didn't like to talk about his feelings and she certainly wasn't one to push. She got up and showered and then dressed in the only clothes she had—her black jeans and gray t-shirt with her black leather jacket. She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and wondered who the hell she was anymore. She certainly wasn't the Annie Walker that had fallen in love with Auggie. Maybe he was waiting for that girl to show up. Well, he'd be waiting a long time.

She thought she'd begin the search for him in the gym at Langley and she wasn't disappointed. Fortunately there was no one else around at six o'clock in the morning. She made it a point to let her heavy motorcycle boots reverberate on the concrete.

Auggie had been boxing against the punching bag and when he heard her steps, he stopped and then halted the motion of the bag.

"You found me."

"You weren't hiding. Were you?" She walked up next to him.

"No." he exhaled as he located his water bottle and drank deeply.

"What's the problem, Auggie?"

Her voice was hard and he realized that she was walking a tightrope of sanity too.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what? Us?" She laughed and he could hear the edges of insanity bleeding into her voice.

"We never even got off the ground, Auggie, and now you're calling it quits."

He turned to face her. "Remember that day after your mission with Helen? You came to my apartment to break up with me."

"I remember." She said softly. "Only thing was, I didn't come to break up with you. I came to have you…" she faltered.

"Reassure you?"

"I just wanted to hear that you were in this thing too. Committed, despite the odds."

"Anyway, you said that we had no time for us."

"Yeah."

"We never will. The past…it'll always be there. What kind of relationship can endure what we know-what we've done." He asked bitterly.

"You mean what _I've_ done?"

"No. Just because you pulled the trigger doesn't mean you carry that burden alone, Annie."

"Oh? You murdered him too?"

"Yes, damn it. I was there. I set it in motion. I knew it. I supported it. I' m just as—"

"Dirty?"

"Yeah."

"And now you think we're just too dirty to have anything good?"

He could hear the fragility in her voice and hated hurting her, despite it all. "It's not that. It's not some sort of self-flagellation. I just—I want something good. Something pure. "

"And that's not me. I'm not pure."

He hated hurting her. "You insist on being the wounded party here, Annie. I'm not saying that. I'm saying we both deserve something light—something better."

"I love you, Auggie. "

"No. You don't. You don't even know me."

Annie felt like she'd been slapped. So many moments flashed through her mind—drinks at Allen's after he'd told her about his unit, finding him Amsterdam when she needed his help, watching him show her the ring he was going to use to propose to another woman. She loved him. He couldn't take that away from her.

"You're wrong."

He exhaled and paced a few feet along the mirrored wall. "I love you, Annie. But can you honestly say that I know you?"

She opened her mouth to respond but was struck by all the memories of the past six months—and the things she'd done. She remembered crossing the line. She'd done things when she'd gone dark; things she'd never imagined. She'd lived in the dark and once there, it was always with her. It resided in her soul now and she wondered if she'd ever be able to put that genie back in the bottle.

"So we go our separate ways?"

"For now."

"Oh? Just for now? Should I set a date on my calendar when you'll let me back in?"

Auggie could feel his heart breaking, but knew with every fiber of his being that he had no other choice. "Annie—"

"Why?"

"You know why. Don't pretend what we had is still there—still the same."

"So what if it's not? Why can't we—"

"What? Fake it? Pretend?"

Annie was silent as she realized he was right. She wasn't the same anymore and he wasn't either. What they'd done had changed them and in the end Henry Wilcox had changed everyone's destiny—including his own. Annie wondered if that had been his agenda all along.

"So, is this the end?" It wasn't lost on her that she'd said those exact words to him before.

"Yeah." He said.

She could hear the steel in his voice. This time, unlike last, he wasn't torn; wasn't emotional.

She turned and walked out of the gym. She wouldn't cry. Hell, she didn't think she was even capable of tears anymore. She thought about that as she swung her leg over her motorcycle and cranked it to life. Auggie was her handler; even when she'd gone dark. She'd lived with his voice in her ear so long that even when there'd been only silence she could still hear him and he guided her.

But maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe a healthy relationship wasn't about one person living on the edge of death constantly. Maybe she'd pushed him too far. She'd punched out of his life without the courtesy of discussion. She'd done it her way—from the beginning. Now, he was choosing his own way and maybe she needed to give that to him.

Auggie heard her heavy boots walk out of the gym and down the hallway. He felt like shit. He felt like an asshole. But most importantly, he felt something give way in his chest…something lifted and lightened and for the first time in eight months he took a deep breath.


End file.
